Company Blog

Are you fixing or serving?

by Adam Zack — December 18, 2024

Service is about humility.

Helping feels good, right? You swoop in, save the day, and get that warm glow when someone says, “Thank you, how can I ever repay your kindness?” Of course, we brush it off with a modest, “Oh, no, it was my pleasure!” But let’s be honest—somewhere, deep on the chalkboard of our subconscious, we tally a little mark. They now owe us a favor, even if we never plan to cash it in.

When I first heard this analogy, it hit me like a rogue shopping cart in a parking lot. Was my helping always as selfless as I thought? Sure, I enjoyed it. But did it make them feel good? Or did I leave them with that awkward “IOU” aftertaste? Something to think about.

And then there’s the term “The Help.” Think about how that sounds: The Help. It doesn’t conjure images of empowerment or partnership—it brings to mind maids, butlers, and drivers. Roles of subservience, not collaboration. No one wants to feel like that. Dr. Rachel Naomi Remen captures this beautifully in her work, “Helping, Fixing, or Serving”.

Now, let’s talk about fixing. I’ll admit it—I’ve been a fixer. Need advice? Boom, I’ve got solutions. Want to vent without advice? Too bad, here’s a solution anyway. Something broken, literal or not? I’ll MacGyver my way to a fix. I took pride in being the go-to answer guy. But here’s the rub: fixing implies something’s broken. And no one likes to feel broken, right?

This realization was a tough pill to swallow. Fixing can feel demeaning. It subtly says, “You’re not whole, but lucky for you, I’m here to patch things up.” Combine that with the IOU of helping, and you’ve got a cocktail of good intentions that can unintentionally bruise egos.

So what’s the alternative? Serving.

Service isn’t about ego or keeping score. It’s not about being superior or swooping in to save the day. Service is about humility. It’s about showing up, being present, and genuinely meeting someone where they are—without expectation.

And you know what? It feels incredible. Better than helping. Better than fixing. Serving strips away the need to be the hero and focuses on simply being human. It connects us in a way that’s free of obligation or judgment.

So next time someone needs a hand, ask yourself: Am I helping, fixing, or serving? The answer might just surprise you—and them.