Company Blog

There is an art to apologizing.

by Adam Zack — January 15, 2025

Love grows from forgiveness, and true repentance heals both the transgressor and the victim.

There is an art to apologizing. No, I shouldn’t say art, because that implies that with a lot of practice and natural talent, you’ve gotten really good at something. Being sorry so often that you’ve become a professional apologizer is not something to brag about. As essentially good people, we aim to behave in thoughtful ways that don’t require frequent apologies. But let’s face it—we all screw up. Intentional or not, we’ve all done and said things that hurt or offend others. And when that happens, as good people, we need to atone for our transgressions in a meaningful way.

Love grows from forgiveness, and true repentance heals both the transgressor and the victim. Where things get sticky—leading to prolonged grief and lingering bad feelings—is when an apology feels insincere or lacks specificity. “Sorry I made you mad” doesn’t quite cut it.

A while ago I came across a valuable piece of advice in an “Ask Amy” column in the newspaper (yes, some of us still read the newspaper, even if we’re a dying breed). It was about making amends and outlined three crucial steps:

Acknowledge what you did. Take full responsibility for the harm caused. Clearly articulate your misstep.
Invite feedback. Ask if you’ve left anything out or if there’s more the other person needs to say. Often, there is.
Seek to make things right. Ask how you can set things right and, if the request is reasonable, follow through.

I thought it was an especially good lesson for me. I’ll be ready to put it to use—when I inevitably screw up, which was recently when I used language that is not appropriate for a professional blog. So, to anyone who was offended or insulted, I sincerely apologize for using words that are more appropriate for an R rated movie than a PG rated blog. I’ll be more conscious going forward. Thanks for bringing awareness that I would not have had.