Company Blog

I can totally relate

by Adam Zack — August 30, 2017

I swear momma

So I’m at this marketing conference and I am talking to this dude who starts telling me about his cruise to Alaska with his wife and what an awesome time they had. “I went on a cruise to Alaska!” I said and proceeded to tell him about the time I went, how great the food was (and the booze was included!) and how I loved the cities and how beautiful the glaciers were and how I saw whales and bald eagles. Man, it was a great trip. I could totally relate to that trip! Stop there: He didn’t ask me if I had been to Alaska. He didn’t inquire to which towns I liked best. He didn’t even ask if I’d been on any vacation lately. But I could relate, right? Well, by relating I:

Stopped listening to think about what my response relation would be.

Made the conversation about me instead of him.

Diminished his story by trying to trump it with mine.

I have been trying to be a better listener for the last year and a half. Really I have, I swear momma. And the lesson that relating is not a good thing really showed me how I still have a very long way to go before I am truly a thoughtful listener and a participant in a conversation that does not bring the focus back to yours truly. I aspire to be a listener and conversation participant that leaves my co-conversationalist thinking (or even saying) “Man, you’re a good listener. Talking to you made me better.” Now that would be a compliment that would make me feel much better than that trip to Alaska, even with the free booze.