Company Blog
Put Down the Weight
by Adam Zack — October 18, 2023
“Forgiveness isn’t about making the wrong-er feel better, it’s about making me feel better.”
Last week the subject came up about how many families have fights that go on for months, years – even lifetimes. Some feuds are generational, like the Hatfields versus the McCoys. We discussed how many times the wronged are completely justified in their feelings of betrayal and hurt, but there is often no justifying what someone has done to you. It’s just plain wrong – hence you are the wronged. But once the deed is done, how can it be put in the past and forgotten? Most wrongs are never forgotten. Sure, they get dull with time and the details become fuzzy with the help of good wine and better times, but deep hurt and resentment still lie deep. The common belief we have is that to forgive someone, we have to somehow reconcile the circumstances that what they did to us was somehow okay, that it was forgivable. I thought that for about 50 years. But even a stubborn old dude can learn, because forgiveness isn’t about making the wrong-er feel better, it’s about making me feel better. The anger and negativity I may feel towards someone else (or towards myself if I have deep feelings of guilt) are like one of those old-fashioned barbells that weigh me down. Sure, I may get stronger, but that 50 pounds of hate that I refuse to let go of still weighs 50 pounds, and 50 pounds is still frickin’ heavy no matter how strong I become. Give Mr. Muscle 50 pounds and tell him to hold on to it for a few years, then check back with him and see if he might feel just a little stronger if he could put that down and never have to pick it up again. Oh, the things he could accomplish. It’s hard to tie your shoes or pull up your tightie whities with one hand occupied with 50 pounds. And balancing it on his head, or putting it in a backpack is not going to help in the long run. So, do something for yourself for a change. Forgive a wrong. Shred that file. Move on to positivity and productivity.
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