Company Blog

Relating is good, right?

by Adam Zack — August 21, 2024

I aspire to be a listener … that leaves my co-conversationalist thinking (or even saying) “Man, you’re a good listener. Talking to you made me better.”

So I’m at this conference and I am talking to this dude who starts telling me about his cruise to
Alaska with his wife and what an awesome time they had. “I went on a cruise to Alaska!” I said
and proceeded to tell him about the time I went, how great the food was (and the drinks were
included!) and how I loved the cities and how beautiful the glaciers were and how I saw whales
and bald eagles. Man, it was a great trip. I could totally relate to that trip! Stop there: He didn’t
ask me if I had been to Alaska. He didn’t inquire which towns I liked best. He didn’t even ask if
I’d been on any vacation lately. But I could relate, right? Well, by relating I:

Stopped listening to him to think about what my response would be.
Made the conversation about me instead of him.
Diminished his story by trying to trump it with mine.

I am always trying to be a better listener (at least that’s what I tell myself.) Really I am, I swear
momma! And the lesson that relating is not always a good thing really showed me how I still
have a very long way to go before I am truly a thoughtful listener and a participant in a
conversation that does not bring the focus back to yours truly. I aspire to be a listener and
conversation participant that leaves my co-conversationalist thinking (or even saying) “Man,
you’re a good listener. Talking to you made me better.” Now that would be a compliment that
would make me feel much better than that trip to Alaska, even with the free drinks.