Company Blog

Don’t use that tone with me

by Adam Zack — November 13, 2024

As you move up in management, tone becomes even more powerful. Show up at work without a warm greeting, and people might think business is tanking, or that jobs could be on the line.

Nonverbal communication always outshines words. Every. Single. Time. You might say the right thing, but your tone and body language can totally flip the message for the person listening. Take this: someone asks you for help, and you respond with, “Sure, what can I help you with?” Sounds helpful, right? But add an eye roll and a sigh, and it’s clear you’re anything but thrilled to help.

Or picture this: “Your hair looks great today.” That’s a solid compliment—unless you say it with a smirk and heavy emphasis on “Your.” Now it’s pure sarcasm. Flip it around, though, and say something blunt, like “You’ve put on a couple pounds, haven’t you?” with a friendly smile and a handshake, and suddenly the other person’s thinking, “Wait, is he serious?”

Most of us learn tone the hard way as kids, when our moms say, “Don’t you use that tone with me!” And we try to argue, “What?? I said ‘Excuse me,’” not admitting that we said, “Excuuuuuse meeee” with the attitude of an 11-year-old.

And tone’s even trickier now, thanks to texting. Does ALL CAPS mean I’m getting yelled at? Is it urgent? Or are they just a fan of caps lock? When someone doesn’t respond, are they mad? Are they busy? Is something wrong?

As you move up in management, tone becomes even more powerful. Show up at work without a warm greeting, and people might think business is tanking, or that jobs could be on the line. In reality, maybe you just had a bad night’s sleep—but if you don’t communicate clearly, their assumptions fill in the blanks.