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Acceptance

by DW Green — October 30, 2019

The victim’s mentality

Imagine you’ve dreamed of a life in politics. You’re young, you’re vigorous, and you’ve held increasingly powerful positions over the course of your career. Then at thirty-nine, you start to feel run down. Your doctors tell you that you have polio and your life will never be the same. Your career is over—right?This is the story of Franklin Delano Roosevelt, now widely regarded as one of American’s greatest political leaders. He was, at middle age, diagnosed with polio after spending years preparing for and dreaming about the presidency.It’s impossible to understand FDR without understanding this disability. The “external thing” was that he was crippled—this was a literal fact—but his judgment of it was that it did not cripple his career or his personhood. Though he was certainly the victim of a then incurable disease, he wiped away—almost immediately—the victim’s mentality.Let’s not confuse acceptance with passivity.

Read More – Learning

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Hope And Fear Are The Same

by DW Green — October 23, 2019

Want is what causes worry.

Hope is generally regarded as good. Fear is generally regarded as bad. Some would say they are the same—both are projections into the future about things we do not control. Both are the enemy of this present moment that you are actually in. Both mean you’re living a life in opposition to amro fati.*It’s not about overcoming our fears but understanding that both hope and fear contain a dangerous amount of want and worry in them. And, sadly, the want is what causes the worry.*amro fati is a Latin phrase that may be translated as “love of fate” or “love of one’s fate”. It is used to describe an attitude in which one sees everything that happens in one’s life, including suffering and loss, as good or, at the very least, necessary.

Read More – Calm before the storm

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To What Will Be

by DW Green — October 16, 2019

The ultimate outcome is in the lap of the gods

When General Dwight D. Eisenhower wrote to his wife on the eve of the invasion of Normandy, he told her, “Everything we could think of has been done, the troops are fit, everybody is doing his best. The answer is in the lap of the gods.” He’d done everything he could—and now, what would happen would happen and he was ready to bear whatever that was. In fact, Eisenhower had written another letter that night and prepared it for release in case the invasion failed. If failure was what God—or fate or luck or whatever you want to call it—willed, he was ready.There is a wonderful lesson there. The man in charge of perhaps the most powerful army the world had ever assembled, on the eve of the most expertly organized and planned invasion the world will hopefully ever know, was humble enough to know that the outcome ultimately belonged to someone or something bigger than him.And so it goes with all our ventures. No matter how much preparation, no matter how skilled or smart we are, the ultimate outcome is in the lap of the gods. The sooner we know that, the better we will be.

Read More – The Help

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Frenemies

by DW Green — October 9, 2019

It’s about not judging other people’s behavior, but judging our own.

It’s pretty obvious that one should keep away from the wicked and two-faced as much as possible—the jealous friend, the narcissistic parent, the untrustworthy partner. Avoid false friends.But what if we turn it around? What if, instead, we ask about the times that we have been false to our friends? It’s about not judging other people’s behavior, but judging our own.We’ve all been a frenemy at one point or another. We’ve been nice to their face—usually because there was something in it for us —but later, in different company, we said how we truly felt. Or we’ve strung someone along, cared only when things were going well, or declined to help even though someone really needed us.This behavior is beneath us—and worth remembering the next time we accuse someone else of being a bad friend.

Read More – What got you here?

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The Benefit of Kindness

by DW Green — October 2, 2019

There is no guarantee that they will return the favor

“Wherever there is a human being, we have an opportunity for kindness.” —Seneca, On the Happy LifeThe first person you meet today—passing acquaintance or friend—no matter the context—positive or negative—is an opportunity for kindness. It is an opportunity for benefit. For both of you. You can seek to understand where they are coming from. You can seek to understand who they are, what they need, and what forces or impulses might be acting on them. And you can treat them well and be better off for it.The same is true for the second person you encounter, and the third. Of course, there is no guarantee that they will return the favor, but that’s not our concern. As always, we’re going to focus on what we control: in this case, the ability to choose to respond with kindness.

Read More – The Most Important Part

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Choose

by DW Green — September 24, 2019

Positive qualities that you can develop that don’t depend on genetic accidents.

It’s easy to blame our circumstances. One person curses that they weren’t born taller, another that they’re not smarter, with a different complexion, or born in a different country. It’d be hard to find a single person on this planet—from MVP Quarterbacks on down—who doesn’t think they’re deficient in at least some way. But whatever your perceived deficits are, remember that there are positive qualities that you can develop that don’t depend on genetic accidents.You have the choice to be truthful. You have the choice to be dignified. You can choose to endure. You can choose to be happy. You can choose to be present. You can choose to be kind to others. You can choose to be free. You can persist under difficult odds. You can avoid trafficking in gossip. You can choose to be gracious.And honestly, aren’t the traits that are the result of effort and skill more impressive anyway?

Read More – King Richard

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Don’t Get Mad. Help

by DW Green — September 18, 2019

We expect it to magically happen.

The person sitting next to you on the plane, the one who is loudly chattering and knocking around in your space? The one you’re grinding your teeth about, hating from the depth of your soul because they’re rude, ignorant, obnoxious? In these situations, you might feel it takes everything you have to restrain yourself from murdering them.It’s funny how that thought comes into our heads before, you know, politely asking them to stop, or making a minor scene for a different seat. We’d rather be pissed off, bitter, raging inside than risk an awkward conversation that might actually help this person and make the world a better place. We don’t just want people to be better, we expect it to magically happen—that we can simply will other people to change, burning holes into their skull with our angry stare.Although when you think about it that way, it makes you wonder who the rude one actually is.

Read More – Monetize This

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Always Love

by DW Green — September 11, 2019

“In the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make.”

In 1992, Barbara Jordan addressed the Democratic National Convention and railed against the greed and selfishness and divisiveness of the previous decade. (Sound familiar today!) People were ready for a change. “Change it to what?” she asked. “Change that environment of the 80s to an environment which is characterized by a devotion to the public interest, public service, tolerance, and love. Love. Love. Love.”Love. Love. Love. Love. Why? Because, as the Beatles put it, “In the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make.” Not just in politics, not just in tolerance, but in our personal lives. There is almost no situation in which hatred helps. Yet almost every situation is made better by love—or empathy, understanding, appreciation—even situations in which you are in opposition to someone.And who knows, you might just get some of that love back....
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Perfection

by DW Green — September 4, 2019

Your life changes more than it stays the same.

I read the following article about perfection in the DailyOM on Monday. It is written by Madisyn Taylor. I enjoy reading her articles. This one on perfection is a good reminder that as human beings we are perfectly imperfect!Letting Go of Perfection
By Madisyn Taylor
Life becomes much more interesting once we let go of our quest for perfection and aspire for imperfection instead.
It is good to remember that one of our goals in life is to not be perfect. We often lose track of this aspiration. When we make mistakes, we think that we are failing or not measuring up. But if life is about experimenting, experiencing, and learning, then to be imperfect is a prerequisite. Life becomes much more interesting once we let go of our quest for perfection and aspire for imperfection instead.This doesn’t mean that we don’t strive to be our best. We simply accept that there is no such thing as perfection–especially in life. All living things are in a ceaseless state of movement. Even as you read this, your hair is growing, your cells are dying and being reborn, and your blood is moving through your veins. Your life changes more than it stays the same. Perfection may happen in a moment, but it will n...
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Honesty As Our Default

by DW Green — August 28, 2019

If you say you’re being honest now, does that mean you usually aren’t?

All of us have used phrases like these before. “I’m going to be straightforward with you here…” “I’ll be honest…” “No disrespect but…” Empty expressions or not, they prompt the question: If you have to preference your remarks with indicators of honesty or directness, what does that say about everything else you say? If you say you’re being honest now, does that mean you usually aren’t?What if, instead, you cultivated a life and a reputation in which honesty was as bankable as note from the U.S. Treasury, as empathic and explicit as a contract, as permanent as a tattoo? Not only would it save you from needing to use the reassurances that other, less scrupulous people must engage in, it will make you a better person.

Read More – I couldn’t care less

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