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Rumor Has It

by Adam Zack — February 14, 2018

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The root of rumors is gossip.

Did you hear that XYZ market is closing? Yeah, I heard it from a friend who dates the assistant to the assistant manager. She says that business is slow and Amazon is killing them so the owner is closing. Can you believe it? The thing is, it is 100% not true. One of my favorite comedians Tom Segura tells the story of his dad telling him that Tommy Lee Jones is gay. (Click here for the story Tom Segura Tommy Lee Jones Story) He goes on to tell everyone he meets that Tommy Lee Jones is gay. One day someone calls him out on it, and asks where he heard it. He says his dad told him. Turns out the dad didn’t even remember where he heard it, but that didn’t stop him from telling people. The rumor mill is a powerful son-of-a-gun. Once it gets started it can go like wildfire and when you deny the rumor and try to put an end to it, you are the one who looks like a liar. It’s brutal. The root of rumors is gossip, one of the evil deadly sins. It’s something that is just to titillating to keep to yourself, no matter how preposterous it sounds. I remember back in the day the rumor was that in Mexico the workers peed into the Corona because they knew it was going to the United States. The guy who told me this really, sincerely believed it was true. I know it’s not, but I sure don’t have the same taste for Corona that I used to. So what do you do to stop it? How do you respond to a rumor about you or your store that just isn’t true? Say someone who dislikes you decides to start a rumor that opened a jar of your store bottled marinara sauce and found a bug in it. It’s a tough situation. Do you say it’s not true and just wait for it to die down? Do you actively take to social media and deny, deny, deny? Do you attack the credibility of the source? There’s no perfect answer, and frankly I like to keep my rumors in the context of a Tom Segura joke, thank you very much.

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