DW's Blog

Don’t Get Mad. Help

by DW Green — September 8, 2021

We don’t just want people to be better, we expect it to magically happen.

The person sitting next to you on the plane, the one who is loudly chattering and knocking around in your space? The one you’re grinding your teeth about, hating from the depth of your soul because they’re rude, ignorant, obnoxious? It’s funny how that thought comes into our heads before, you know, politely asking them to stop, or making the minor scene of asking for a different seat. We’d rather be pissed off, bitter, raging inside than risk an awkward conversation that might actually help this person and make the world a better place. We don’t just want people to be better, we expect it to magically happen—that we can simply will other people to change, burning holes into their skull with our angry stare.Although when you think about it that way, it makes you wonder who the rude one actually is.

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A Selfish Reason To Be Good

by DW Green — August 18, 2021

There is a reason there’s often vomit at crime scenes.

The next time you do something wrong, try to remember how it made you feel. Rarely does one say, “I felt great!”There is a reason there’s often vomit at crime scenes. Instead of the catharsis the person thought they’d feel when they got revenge, they ended up making themselves sick. We feel a version of this when we lie, when we cheat, when we screw someone over.So in that split second before your ill-gotten gains kick in ask: How do I feel about myself? Is that moment when fear rises in your throat because you suspect you may get caught really worth it?Self-awareness and wrongdoing rarely go together. If you need a selfish reason to not do wrong—put yourself in touch with these feelings. They’re a powerful disincentive.

Read More – WHEN “MY BEST” ISN’T

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by DW Green — August 11, 2021

You control what every external event means to you personally.

We could look at the upcoming day and despair at all the things we don’t control: other people, our health, the temperature, the outcome of a project once it leaves our hands.Or we could look out at that very same day and rejoice at the one thing we do control: the ability to decide what any event means. The second option offers the ultimate power—a true and fair form of control. If you had control over other people, wouldn’t other people have control over you? Instead, what you’ve been granted is the fairest and most usable trump cards.While you don’t control external events, you retain the ability to decide how you respond to those events. You control what every external event means to you personally.This includes the difficult one in front of you right now. You’ll find, if you approach it right, that this trump card is plenty.

by DW Green — August 4, 2021

It’s not weak to change and adapt.

When you set your mind to a task, do you always follow through? It’s an impressive feat if you do. But don’t let yourself become a prisoner of that kind of determination. That asset might become a liability someday.Conditions change. New facts come in. Circumstances arise. If you can’t adapt to them—if you simply proceed onward, unable to adjust according to this additional information—you are no better than a robot. The point is not to have an iron will, but an adaptable will—a will that makes full use of reason to clarify perception, impulse, and judgment to act effectively for the right purpose. It’s not weak to change and adapt. Flexibility is its own kind of strength. In fact, this flexibility combined with strength is what will make us resilient and unstoppable.

Read More – Obsession

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by DW Green — July 14, 2021

“If you give things more time and energy than they deserve, they’re no longer lesser things.”

In 1997, a psychotherapist named Richard Carlson published a book called Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff…and It’s All Small Stuff. It quickly became one of the fastest-selling books of all time and spent years on the bestseller lists, ultimately selling millions of copies in many languages.Whether you read the book or not, Carlson’s pity articulation of this timeless idea is worth remembering. Don’t spend your time (the most valuable and least renewable of all your resources) on the things that don’t matter. What about the things that don’t matter but you’re absolutely obligated to do? Well, spend as little time and worry on them as possible.If you give things more time and energy than they deserve, they’re no longer lesser things. You’ve made them important by the life you’ve spent on them. And sadly, you’ve made the important things—your family, your...

by DW Green — July 7, 2021

“What better use could you make of that time?”

The way we nervously worry about some looming bad new is strange if you think about it. By definition, the waiting means it hasn’t happened yet, so feeling bad in advance is totally voluntary. But that’s what we do: chewing our nails, feeling sick to our stomach, rudely brushing aside the people around us. Why? Because something bad might occur soon.The pragmatist, the person of action, is too busy to waste time on such silliness. The pragmatist can’t worry about every possible outcome in advance. Think about it. Best case scenario—if the news turns out better than expected, all this tie was wasted with needless fear. Worst case scenario—we were miserable for extra time, by choice.And what better use could you make of that time? A day that could be your last—you want to spend it in worry? In what other area could you make some progress while others might be sitting on the edges of their seat, passively awaiting some fate?Let the news come when it does. ...